Playing in Motherhood: Mother Culture

This is a guest post contributed by Lara Chomout. You can learn more about Lara in her bio at the bottom of her post.

The tick, tick, tick of the clock starts to drown out my thoughts. 

I’m finally slowing down from the daily hustle of my routine of laundry and dishes, making meals, sibling arguments, spills- daily motherhood, really- and home education. The children are calm as we settle into our “quiet time” for the day - and perhaps now, for the first time, I can think.

I see so many good things before me, but as I heave a sigh before standing up to start the next thing, I realize I am beginning to believe the small whispers of the lie that says the “who” that I am is disappearing. You know, the lie that says I am just as valuable as a washing machine, whose work goes unnoticed until it’s broken. The lie that says that who I was before motherhood is fading into the abyss.

Perhaps you can relate - What are the words you use to describe yourself? Tired? Overwhelmed? Exhausted? Stressed? Insignificant? Unnoticed? 

As we transition to “normal life” after the holidays, it’s easy to keep trudging along, not acknowledging our own basic needs- those things God created us to be able to experience life as whole persons. When we ignore His design, nothing for us changes... or things get even worse. How can we seek to move past those feelings/words we use to describe ourselves and truly enjoy this season we are in, even when it feels like “who we are” is slipping away?

Play

“If mothers could learn to do for themselves what they do for their children when these are overdone, we should have happier households. Let the mother go out to play!” - Charlotte Mason, Volume 3

We often emphasize the importance of play for our children, but what about for ourselves? Of course, just as with children, our play will look different from the parent next to us. Some of us may enjoy going to the gym, while some may prefer baking all the pies. Perhaps it’s writing a handwritten letter to a friend or decorating your home. We ALL have certain activities that breathe life into us. 

I do not doubt for a second that this is the way God created us to be - to find the things that breathe new air into us and allow us to thrill toward God. True self-care or play will draw us to Christ in order to glorify and worship Him. Not only will we draw toward Christ in our play, but He will always meet us where we are - for God never lets us go unnoticed. He knows us. 

There’s a word floating around the internet’s homeschool corners - “Mother Culture.” Many think it was a term coined by Charlotte Mason herself, but it was actually first mentioned by an anonymous author in the Parents Review magazine in 1892. It has been made even more popular by author Karen Andreola and her book titled Mother Culture.

The concept goes beyond the idea of play, into creating your home as a place of happiness and peace. It very much takes the same concepts used in a Charlotte Mason education and applies it to the whole home - from the atmosphere you create, the habits you implement, and to the way you feed yourself spiritually or educationally. 

It’s those very things that help you to feel like… well, a person. And if we do in fact believe children are born persons, we must surely believe we are persons too.

During the Holidays, or you know, all the time.

“If she would only have the courage to let everything go when life becomes too tense, and just take a day, or half a day, out in the fields, or with a favourite book, or in a picture gallery looking long and well at just two or three pictures, or in bed, without the children, life would go on far more happily for both children and parents.” (Charlotte Mason, Volume 3)

It seems that life events (like holidays, for example) can often magnify the feelings of exhaustion and overwhelm. It’s so easy to forget to take the time to play, amongst the routine of traditions and preparations. 

Last year, I had planned for my family to dry some fruit together and make a fruit garland. I had envisioned this huge, peaceful event around making a beautiful decoration to adorn our fireplace. (Cue a scene from Little House on the Prairie…)

I went to the store to grab supplies and was eager to begin upon returning home. Of course, everyone else was busy doing their own thing and simply couldn’t be bothered. I certainly could have waited. But in the moment I realized that this really was for me anyway, and perhaps I should just enjoy doing it myself.

So I did.

And you know what? It was so fulfilling and absolutely one of my favorite memories from last year. I adorned our fireplace with the fruit garland, and my children still appreciated it and had memories of it - but it was so special that it was mine and something I made for myself. It feels a little awkward saying that out loud, but I will say that in those moments God reminded me of His great love for me. 

He reminded me that the same desires I have for my children, He has for me. He desires for us to delight in the small things - like creating something with my hands, to the bigger, deeper things of knowing, sharing, and living out the Gospel of Jesus.

I’m praying for you. I’m praying that in this season you’re able to shut out the lies and find that one practical thing that is between you and Christ - the “thing” that allows you to play and remember the truth of who YOU are in Christ - whether that’s making a fruit garland, journaling in your notebook, or looking at beautiful works of art.

I always have been a busy person, doing my own housework….but I love to work. And it is a pleasure to write. And, oh, I do just love to play! - Laura Ingalls Wilder

Lara is a homeschool mom of two in West Texas. She is a graduate of Angelo State University with a B.A. in Mass Media with a focus in Journalism and a B.A. in German. She has a heart for sharing the gospel of Jesus to those near and far who have never heard his name. She blogs at Little School on Avondale and you can find her on Instagram and Facebook.