Home Education as Process

This is a guest post contributed by Stephanie Radcliffe. You can learn more about Stephanie in her bio at the bottom of her post.

“Much like anything that’s worth doing, homeschooling is hard. You will have doubts and think you’ve failed a thousand times along the way. And you will have to start over more than once. But remember this: you cannot ruin your children any more than you can perfect them. They will find their way. You will find yours. And little by little, you’ll figure out this crazy, beautiful thing together until it feels like you’ve been doing it your whole life. Until it feels like, well, home.” -Ainsley Arment The Call of the Wild + Free

It’s far too easy to think that when our days don’t look smooth and seamless that we are failing or that we aren’t offering quality education to our children. Somewhere along the way, we got it into our heads that cooperative children, perfectly executed rhythms and routine, and checking off all of the boxes in our curriculum guides was not only the standard and evidence of success; but also whether we feel accomplished or not as homeschool mothers.

So what if I reminded all of us (myself included) that not only can we view the process and journey, with all the bumps, glitches, mess ups along the way as a SUCCESS, but also embrace it, enjoy it, and look proudly upon it as we go?

Just as we tell our children that it’s okay to make a mistake, that it is all a part of the learning process, we need to encourage ourselves of this truth, as well.

My eldest two children are six and four and my husband and I laugh at how two out of the four (although the verdict is still out on the other two) are as strong-willed as they are. I like the term “spirited”. While they’re spirited in completely different ways, they both definitely are!

Come August, it was time to begin our “first formal year” of homeschool. With a kindergartener, preschooler, toddler and baby in tow, they were excited and possibly crazily, so was I! We had an incredible first day, complete with cake, new supplies, and a glimpse of our routine. 

Then day two came and the excitement from day one had already worn off! I started to receive a lot of push back from my eldest. Push back wasn’t abnormal from this spirited little man of mine, so it was to be expected. But it was nonetheless difficult. It often felt (and sometimes can still feel like!) a battle of the wills. On top of this, my four-year-old was (and can still have!) very intense emotions that can derail a lesson (or anything for that matter!) faster than I can blink.

I knew I had my work cut out for me. I wasn’t sure how the coming days or weeks were going to unfold. I wanted to do what was going to make my children thrive but I also wanted to not lose my sanity. I wasn’t sure of the “line” between expecting certain things of my children in our homeschool for their good and for the sake of our family rhythm versus letting my children have their spirited, independent personalities, and paying attention to their interests and desires.

After talking to a few homeschool mom friends of mine and getting a lot of wisdom and encouragement, I went in with a new mindset. I started experimenting with a lot of movement, games, floor schooling, splitting up lessons, etc. To be honest, it was exhausting and many days what I felt like was going to be fun was met with resistance, bickering, and unwillingness from my children. But, as I can only explain as a gift from God, despite this exhaustion and overwhelm, I continued to wake up each day excited to try again. It was kind of like a game of sorts for me. A challenge. What can I do differently today that will help our rhythm and routine? How can I study my children more today to see what they need? Where can I let go of some expectations? Where do I need to be firm, yet still loving, and show them that sometimes we have to do things we don’t like because it’s good for us?

Reimagining our Days

I continued to reimagine what our days would look like. I continued to pray over my expectations and after much wrestling in my mind, I can confidently say the Lord gave me peace about what I would require of each child (starting small!) and what I would let go of. 

I decided our morning routine was non-negotiable for both of my oldest children. It doesn’t always happen first thing in them morning but at least 4 times a week, we would strive to do this. For us, this consists of using The Gentle + Classical Preschool and Morning Binders. For my kindergartener, it would also mean completing The Good and the Beautiful math curriculum lessons and Living Lessons in Reading throughout the week. If emotions begin to overtake or if I can sense restlessness, we take a break. We reconvene later or if that doesn't work, we table it all until the next day.

To be honest, the next several weeks kind of blur together. The weather began to cool off just a tad here in Florida, allowing morning walks to begin to unfold and if not those, then backyard play. We began naturally gathering around the kitchen table for a mid-morning snack and our morning time routine. The kids would drift away after that and play again, or we’d take a bike ride around the neighborhood. We began to reconvene over lunch or a late snack in the afternoon to finish up our lessons with our reading or math curriculum. I decided to focus on one or the other each day and integrate whichever one we weren’t formally learning with a game or during our morning routine.

I don’t keep a set schedule for when we do our lessons because I typically don’t interrupt my children if they are deep in play, and I wait for either a good meal time to do our lessons or round them up with a yummy snack. A second breakfast of homemade waffles is a common morning routine to kick off our school time.

It’s now only October, and I am by no means a master at this homeschooling thing. But somewhere along the way, even in these short few months, there are many days that we get to both reading and math without a problem. There are days we don’t do formal lessons because we are with our Wild + Free group or meeting up with friends at a playground. I aim for lessons 4x a week and we usually hit that mark, but I don’t stress because some days we get through more than I expected and others, far less. I also see the magical learning taking place naturally with the ebb and flow of the seasons. For example, my children getting excited about fall, pumpkins, and Halloween has led us to pumpkin science experiments, Halloween crafts, and learning about the changing of seasons.

My children have already taught me a valuable lesson, during our first weeks of homeschooling. I need to trust them and I need to trust the process. I felt such a sense of urgency to get the perfect rhythm down in the beginning. With a lot of trial and error, a lot of grace, and a lot of experimentation, we are continuing to work together to find what works for us.

Every day is far from perfect and with a toddler and baby in the mix, anything can happen. Some days I send out an SOS by 2pm to my husband asking if he can get home a few minutes early to give me some alone time once he gets home. Some days I have to ask forgiveness for the short temper I have with my children. Other days literally feel like a dream, and I just sit and soak in the view of this school we have created. It’s nowhere near perfect, but that’s not what qualifies success. The joy is truly in the journey and I plan to continue to embrace it. I hope you do too!

Hi. I’m Steph. Believer. Wife to Wes & Mamma to 4, ages 6 and under. Homeschool Mama. Coffer & Book Lover. Enneagram 4. Dreamer. Passionate About Authenticity. Content Creator. I love encouraging mamas to bring the Gospel into our homes in an intentional, rich, & meaningful way! I love all things learning through play, nature, & having a learning is living approach. I hope I can inspire you in your motherhood journey help you foster homes of rest, grace, & gentle learning rhythms that nurture your children’s spiritual development along the way. You can follow along with me on Instagram @storiesbeginathome.