This is a guest post contributed by Amber Palmer. You can learn more about Amber in her bio at the bottom of her post.

I had a fight with my daughter. I coundn't get it out of my head and thought I had ruined Christmas.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” Ephesians 2:8 ESV

I reached over and grabbed my phone with one eye closed and the other one barely opened to try to read the bright light that told me it was 12 am. Officially Christmas day and my daughter and I are frustrated with each other.

“Perfect,” I thought to myself. “What a way to ring in Jesus’ birth.’

My weary eyes just wanted to sleep and my daughter’s weary eyes couldn’t. I was upset she was keeping me awake, and she was just as upset with the fact no matter what she tried, she couldn’t sleep.

I attempted to lay down with her but the tossing and turning kept waking me up, and I had about enough of it all. I knew my son would be up extra early because it was Christmas Day and all kids have a crazy, internal clock to wake up as early as possible on this day.

Heated words were exchanged as panic began to set in that I was not going to get any sleep and neither was my daughter. Without solid sleep, I’m unable to function and my worn-down body gets sick. My daughter, who is already easily overwhelmed by her big emotions, would even be more so during the Christmas festivities.

Anxiety washed over me leading me to believe the lie of how our Christmas was going to be the worst one to date.

With all of these emotions and fears hitting me at one time, my anxiety quickly turned to anger.

I said things I shouldn’t have, and my daughter met me blow for blow with words. We were both messy heaps of emotions. Our anger led to tears, and I knew all of this drama was not going to make it any easier to fall asleep.

This had all been about the need for sleep, right?

Finally, as a last resort, I put on a television show and we both drifted off to sleep.

As the sun shined through the window and hit my heavy eyelids, the awful feeling of guilt hung over me. The late-night interaction with my daughter began replaying over and over in my head. The lack of self-control in my frustration, all left me feeling gut-wrenching sadness.

Here it is Christmas morning -a day of joy and celebration- and I was feeling lowest of the low. Crummy, awful, terrible, no good mother I was.

“I can’t be her mom anymore,” I thought. “This is not right; she deserves someone better,” I said quietly to myself, overwhelmed with remorse for allowing my exhaustion and fears to get the better of me.

I stumbled down the hall and dragged my weary body to begin the day. I turned the lights on our Christmas tree to prepare the scene for the present opening which was about to ensue, and then it hit me.

This is why I need Christmas. This is why I need Jesus.

This is why I need grace. This is why He came. This is why I have the immeasurable gift of grace and forgiveness.

During this moment, I felt God’s presence and let his sweet grace rush over me. The beautiful image of baby Jesus filled my mind, heart, and soul as I experienced Christmas like I never have before. True forgiveness right there in my sin on Christmas morning.

Like a beautiful present handed to me, Jesus was placed in my hands

The dark morning turned into a bright glorious day because of Jesus. His grace and forgiveness lit up all of my dark places. Friend, he is here to do the same for you.

I am going to fall short more times than I would like and God knows this. But every time, this is where I will meet Jesus; at his feet, washed over with His love, grace and forgiveness. We become restored, whole, and redeemed because of Jesus’ birth and his sacrifice. This, my friends, is why we need Jesus.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:23-24 ESV

Amber is a busy mom of two kiddos, wife, and blogger over at My Jars of Clay. When she is not homeschooling her daughter you can find her writing to encourage other moms and helping them keep their focus on Jesus. Amber enjoys spending her time reading, singing when no one is around and throwing random dance parties in her kitchen. She loves connecting with other moms in person and over on Instagram.

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