This is a guest post contributed by Amber Palmer. You can learn more about Amber in her bio at the bottom of her post.

If you have ever questioned your value, your appearance, your ability to be a good mom you most certainly aren't alone. But God has a completely different perspectice!

Insecure.

A word I have strung along with me throughout my whole life. I have always been unsure of myself and uneasy in my own skin.

I have a vivid memory of a young 9-year-old me, sitting in my 4th grade classroom and being so uncomfortable with the way my chin seemed to recede further back than my nose. I didn’t like the way it looked, so I would sit the whole class with my head resting in my hand. I was hoping with my hand situated just right, I could block the other kids from seeing this side view I was deeply concerned about.

I also refused to wear my hair back in a ponytail because I felt my ears were too big and everyone might make fun of me. I knew I was the perfect candidate for a Dumbo nickname.

I can’t tell you how thankful I was when my mom let me wear makeup so I could cover my freckles. They were not angel kisses to me, no matter how many times my mom tried to remind me of this.

When most kids looked forward to summer, I dreaded the season because my legs always seemed too white and skinny. I didn’t tan very easily, and everyone liked to point this out to me. I would have to hear how white and skinny my legs were every time I wore shorts. I remember feeling so pretty, all dressed for my junior prom and a friend of mine walked up to me and said she didn’t think I could possibly look any skinnier than I did right then.

I let these comments shape my self-perception and degrade my value.

I was so uncomfortable with myself.

I knew everyone was judging me, and thusly I became the biggest judger of them all.

Here I am, almost 40, and the word insecure still hangs heavily over my head. Now my concerns are wrapped around wrinkles, shifting teeth, unwanted hair, and on-going health issues. I thought for sure by the time I hit 40 I would be comfortable in who I am and how I look. That is not the case, and I don’t think I have ever felt more insecure than I do right now.

Can we all agree that it doesn’t help when your phone camera is in selfie mode and the image staring back is a magnified version of everything you’re insecure about?

Not only is my insecurity wrapped up in the way I look, but now, it is also in my performance as a wife, mom, worker, and homemaker. No matter what I do, I feel like I am lacking, and I will never measure up.

I feel like my self-judgement is never-ending.

The camera on selfie mode is a good indicator of just where our focus is placed when we are experiencing insecurity. As I reflect on myself and my insecurities, I can clearly see my focus is zeroed in on the wrong mode. I am comparing myself to things of this world and listening to other peoples’ opinions.

I get it though. How can we not when images of beautiful women, living idealized lives, in immaculate homes flood our TVs and social media feed on a daily basis?

We are inundated with the world’s definition of beauty and achievement.

Selfie mode, too much time tapping boxes on Instagram, and harsh thoughts about ourselves are big indicators that we are comparing ourselves to the images that overwhelm us. Our lens is clearly out of focus! When we look in the mirror or at a picture of ourselves, we need to look at our image with a godly perspective.

We need to see ourselves in a godly mode.

We have to choose to address where this self-judgment is coming from.

Are we focused on other peoples’ faults?
Are we fault-finding with others in all the ways that we are critical of ourselves?
Are we comparing ourselves to filtered images and staged pictures on our social media feeds?

When we look in the mirror, we need to look at our image with a godly perspective. The only filter we should be running our picture through is God’s filter.

When we are quick to put ourselves down because we feel like we have messed up again or not measuring up in the way we think we should be, it’s an opportunity to pause and remember who we belong to. Who made us? What is our purpose? By doing this, we will align our thoughts with God’s and keep our focus on Him and off of ourselves.

As I was typing this out, I couldn’t help but think about all the joy I missed growing up because I let my insecurities strip me from just enjoying the life God blessed me with. I let it control me! I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to continue living from a place of insecurity and miss out on any more than I already have.

The next time you find yourself in the selfie mode, move the toggle button over to godly mode and remember you are a child of God. Praise him for his wonderful works! You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Let’s embrace this together!

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:2

Amber is a busy mom of two kiddos, wife, and blogger over at My Jars of Clay. When she is not homeschooling her daughter you can find her writing to encourage other moms and helping them keep their focus on Jesus. Amber enjoys spending her time reading, singing when no one is around and throwing random dance parties in her kitchen. She loves connecting with other moms in person and over on Instagram.

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