Are You Terrified of Failing at Homeschooling?
/Let’s pretend for a moment that we are close, real-life friends. We’ve sat down for a cup of coffee after you shared your heart via text.
Maybe you told me that you are paralyzed by your decision to homeschool.
Maybe you told me that you feel like everyday is a failure, and you’re ready to quit.
Maybe you’re worried about how your child’s academic progress compares to another child.
Whatever it is, your anxious thoughts have spiraled out of control, and you’re terrified of all the ways you are failing in educating your child. If you were my close friend, and we were having THIS conversation, this is what I would humbly submit to you, having walked this road before you:
There is no moment, no aspect, no decision in your child's education that should be saddled with your fears, expectations, or comparisons.
I educated from a fear-based mentality for years, and it nearly wrecked everything:
- my relationship with my kids
- their relationship with learning
- our overall mental health
- the culture in our home
Homeschool is not mainstream, it's not safe, and it's not comfortable.
However, it is better to live in uncomfortable freedom than in comfortable bondage. And for many children, a classroom is just that (for some, that is reversed, but that’s a completely different post).
If homeschooling doesn't make you a little weak in the knees, you're probably not holding it in right regard.
But that weakness is an opportunity for your God to SHINE. When you're worried about future failures, or you're playing the life-destroying, soul-suckling comparison game, ask yourself this:
Have I already failed in some way? Or am I just letting the fear of failure steal my joy?
Has God shown himself to not care about my child in the past? Or am I relying fully on self and not trusting the true source of all knowledge?
If I AM legitimately holding my child back with my own bad habits, should I live in fear of continued failure? Or should I repent and seek help in community for accountability?
Fear shuts down the human brain. Anxiety makes us angry and short-tempered. We cannot be fearful AND patient, loving, and kind at the same time.
Our child cannot be anxious and educated at the same time.
If you're frequently angry with your child during lessons, it's likely more rooted in YOUR attitude about their education than in theirs. Regardless of their whining, resistance, or disinterest.
They are our mirrors.
If things aren't going the way you hoped, get alone and get real with yourself. Acknowledge the wins, but acknowledge the failures. Find the source of your fear, and seek God in repentance and for strength.
He is right there. He's not going anywhere, at any point. Invite him in, and make a Spirit-led plan for learning from a place of confidence, consistency, and joy.
You CAN do this, my friend. Breath. Trust. Repent. And get started.
